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Subject: Underpants
Date: Sun, 30 Jan 2000 19:16:40 EST
From: Laura Collins
Reply-To: Warbrides
That's right, underpants. Some of you might be familiar with a list that's been
circulating of "Stars Wars" quotes where strategic words or phrases have been
replaced by the word "underpants". It occurred to me: Why not give this
treatment to quotes from Cary movies? I think the results are pretty amusing, but feel
free to judge for yourself.
ARSENIC AND OLD LACE
Elaine -- But Mortimer, you're going
to love me for my underpants, too.
Mortimer -- One thing at a time!
THE AWFUL TRUTH
Jerry -- The judge says this is my
day to see the underpants.
CHARADE
Inspector Grandpierre -- Tell me, Mr.
Dyle. Where were you at 3:30 a.m.?
Dyle -- In my underpants. Asleep.
Inspector Grandpierre -- Three of
them. All in their underpants?
C'est ridicule! What is it, some new American fad?
FATHER GOOSE
Walter -- Frank. Kiss my
underpants, Frank.
HIS GIRL FRIDAY
Tagline -- She learned about
underpants from him!
Walter -- Look, Hildy, I only acted
like any husband that didn't want his underpants broken up.
Hildy -- What underpants?
Walter-- "What
underpants"??? Don't you remember the underpants I promised you?
Bruce -- Nice town, Albany.
They've got underpants there, you know.
Hildy -- Look, there's this old
newspaper superstition that the first big check you cash, you hide it in the lining of
your underpants.
I'M NO ANGEL
Mae West -- It's not the underpants
in your life, it's the life in your underpants that counts.
NORTH BY NORTHWEST
Ticket Seller -- Something wrong with
your eyes?
Roger -- Yes, they're sensitive to
underpants.
Roger -- Now, what can a man do with
his underpants off for 20 minutes?
Roger -- I didn't realize you were an
art collector. I thought you only collected underpants.
NOTORIOUS
Alicia -- My underpants
are outside.
Devlin -- Naturally.
Alicia -- This fog gets to me.
Devlin -- It's your underpants.
THE PHILADELPHIA STORY
Margaret Lord -- The course of true
love. . .
Mike -- . . . gathers no underpants.
Liz -- What's this room? I've
forgotten my underpants.
Tracy -- Oh, Mike, put me
in your underpants!
Margaret -- We both might face the
facts that neither one of us has proved to be a very great success as a wife.
Tracy -- We picked the wrong
underpants.
SYLVIA SCARLETT
Monk -- Oh, what's 'appened to me
underpants?
TALK OF THE TOWN
Leopold -- Well, it's a form of
self-expression. Some people write books. Some people write music. I make underpants on
street corners.
TO CATCH A THIEF
Hughson--The underpants are light as
air.
Frances -- My nerves could use a
drink.
Jessie -- Your nerves and
your underpants!
And, of course, my favorite, from
"Bringing Up Baby":
Aunt Elizabeth -- Well, you look
perfectly idiotic in those underpants.
David -- These aren't my underpants.
Aunt Elizabeth -- Well, where are
your underpants?
David -- I've lost my underpants!
Aunt Elizabeth -- But why are you
wearing *these* underpants?
David -- Because I just went gay all
of a sudden!
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